Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
