This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he thought i was a dude.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
