North Korea, Best Korea!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
