Jerry, you need to find god
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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