come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
