I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
