I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
