First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize