Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She swung at the pinata with crutches
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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