do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she peed on how many people?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
