M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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