I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
