You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
