where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You smell like stripper and shame
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
