Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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