She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
