now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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