I wanna bring you to show and tell
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
