they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
