R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
