We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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