Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize