Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
