so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
