I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
