She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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