Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
