you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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