So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We talked him into tasing himself.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
