we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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