i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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