I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
