You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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