WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
