We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
