its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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