You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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