Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Acid is not a monday night drug
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
