So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
this is an emotional support booty call
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
