She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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