how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My vagina just recognized that song.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dicks are not precious.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
