I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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