Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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