wakey wakey hands off snakey
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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