for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
