you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
