Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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