I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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