oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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