I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
