Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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