Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just had sex on a roof
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
