just come out here and I will go home with you...
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so let's talk penis.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm sobbing to NWA
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
