Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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