I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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