so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
