She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
