You're so nebulous sometimes
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
