I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize