I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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