Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
