She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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