The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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