i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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