They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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