i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
