My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
