..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
